[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[3.0s] Oh, you're home.
[4.6s] Hi, Arvid.
[5.4s] Hey, Adog.
[6.2s] You brought an interesting friend with you.
[9.0s] Oh, yeah, this is, uh, this is Lex.
[10.7s] Hi, I'm Lex, and I...
[14.6s] It's, I think the pleasure is all mine.
[17.0s] The energy stops flowing, and you feel yourself crumple to the ground.
[21.9s] Perseus rushes to you.
[23.8s] You know, this is my very best friend in the whole world, Perseus.
[27.0s] And I just kind of, like, stroke his back and say, like, it's okay, it's okay, I'm okay.
[32.3s] Lay with Perseus and this man in the alleyway for quite a while, until you
[41.4s] hear footsteps walking up the alleyway.
[45.8s] You look to the side and you see Arvid, and he picks you up and walks back with you to
[55.4s] his office.
[57.6s] We'll, um, get you cleaned up here.
[62.2s] I told you I'd see you later.
[65.6s] That you did.
[80.6s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[82.4s] We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast, and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[87.8s] With me today is Carla Maxted.
[90.4s] That is me.
[91.8s] Also with me, Tom Laird.
[93.7s] C'est moi.
[94.5s] And joining us for no particular reason taking the spot of Amy tonight is Rev from
[99.0s] The Crit Show.
[100.2s] I'm lost and wandered into the room.
[103.0s] Welcome, Rev.
[104.1s] We thought we'd take advantage of him being lost.
[107.9s] This is a comfy seat next to us, though, I have to admit.
[110.2s] Isn't it?
[111.0s] Yeah.
[111.7s] She gets the better seat, so you're welcome.
[114.3s] I mean, you didn't have to put on Amy's pink robe, but it looks great.
[118.2s] You know, if it's soft like this, I just, I can't resist.
[121.6s] That's fair.
[122.6s] Where we have lots of fun and do lots of cool things is over on Patreon.
[125.6s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where after this episode today and after every
[130.2s] episode, we talk about the episode that we just played in a dungeon's downtime.
[135.0s] And that's for patrons at $5 up.
[136.6s] But also when you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.
[140.4s] Like today's patron, Matthew dash undead.
[144.3s] Thank you, Matthew.
[145.4s] Matthew, what a spooky name you have, right?
[148.7s] It starts out so normal or what a condition.
[151.0s] Oh, yeah.
[151.4s] Yeah, you're right.
[152.4s] Thank you, Matthew.
[153.4s] You can find out more at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[156.4s] And now, oh, fuck it.
[157.8s] Let's play D&D.
[163.6s] We find our characters.
[166.6s] I guess we should say that we're doing something special here today.
[170.5s] Last time we saw our first character, Lex Lexington, they were not so good off in an
[179.3s] alleyway being carried back to Arvid's office to be fixed back up.
[187.2s] We joined back with Lex and Arvid, probably a couple of weeks later,
[191.7s] after some some good R&R, some health recovered.
[196.8s] I guess I need to know, am I pretty healthy again?
[201.4s] I would say the state of Lex is not 100% because of your condition of, you know,
[207.5s] dealing out health, you lose health.
[210.2s] So I'd say you're probably around 50% of total Lex health.
[216.7s] Perfect.
[217.3s] Until which point you're cured.
[221.4s] But who knows if that'll happen.
[223.8s] It's been a couple of weeks, so I'm feeling better.
[226.9s] I'm really wondering, like, what the vibe is with Arvid and Lex because there was
[233.2s] some real tension, there was some real flirty energy between the two of them.
[239.4s] The door bursts open.
[242.2s] Arvid rushes in carrying a plate of fine baked goods.
[248.6s] There's a lemon curd, a spring roll, and a bunch of other things.
[254.2s] A sprinkle of icing sugar and says, oh, um, I brought you some breakfast.
[259.4s] Thought you might be famished.
[262.9s] Oh, Arvid, I am famished.
[266.6s] Thank you.
[267.1s] You remembered my favorite lemon curd treat.
[270.9s] You're so thoughtful.
[273.3s] Oh, just stop.
[276.0s] Well, you enjoy.
[278.1s] We do have to discuss future plans, though.
[283.4s] Oh, you did say don't, don't put the cart before the horse, my dear.
[290.6s] We, what I was more talking about was your adventure, your journey, your je ne sais quoi,
[296.7s] your need to spread your wings and soar to the mountains as you so described it the other night.
[303.4s] It's very poetical language.
[305.0s] Sounds more like something you would say, Arvid.
[307.9s] But, um, yeah, so not our future plans.
[311.8s] But my future plans to return to the Baldrick Mountains, find my creator,
[317.6s] deal with him in some sort of way, and then get on with my life.
[323.4s] In, in a roundabout succinct sort of way.
[326.0s] Yes, that is exactly what I was saying.
[327.8s] I, of course, would put a little more color, a little more flair to it, but that is fine.
[333.8s] Um, so that said, it is a long and perilous journey.
[338.7s] Donnie, the two of us could make it, but perhaps you, you have others
[347.3s] that we could invite.
[349.3s] Well, my friends Flint and Thea, I don't want to ask them.
[355.5s] We've already said our goodbyes.
[357.0s] They're looking for their, their dragon, Donnie, and it just wouldn't be right.
[362.8s] I don't know many others.
[365.1s] I have Perseus, of course.
[368.2s] I'm not sure he is the best rat in the world, but not sure how good he is in a fight.
[375.5s] Um, and I did, I met someone on my travels with Flint and Thea.
[382.5s] She was, well, I mean, she's the one that gave me my name.
[389.2s] So I feel like we have a, a very special bond.
[394.0s] She was very wise and she did give me a way to communicate with her.
[400.1s] So I suppose I could ask.
[405.5s] Well, which way did she give to communicate with you?
[408.6s] She gave me this and then I rummage in my stuff and pull out a rock.
[415.0s] She called it a sending note.
[417.0s] So if I crush this, I don't know if I then speak to her or I summon her or
[425.2s] the details are a little hazy.
[426.7s] I did almost die just two weeks ago.
[429.0s] It's, uh, from the sounds of it, it's likely a message that you can send to, send to her.
[435.4s] So you would just have to tell her where to meet us, perhaps along the road
[443.4s] to the Paltryck Mountains.
[444.6s] So you're going to come with me then?
[448.4s] I thought that I was the first one being that I said we too could make the journey, but
[454.3s] if you did not want me.
[456.2s] I want nothing more than for you to come with me while I literally meet my maker.
[465.3s] All right.
[466.1s] Well, you know what?
[467.8s] But you work on your message.
[471.0s] You send your message and send Perseus here with me.
[477.6s] See what I can cook up.
[479.5s] Hey, how attached are you to the fact of Perseus being a rat?
[485.5s] Oh, well, huh.
[487.4s] What an interesting question you ask.
[490.8s] I love Perseus for his kindness and loyalty.
[494.5s] Um, I don't think his being a rat is of particular importance.
[500.1s] Great.
[500.6s] Enough said.
[501.7s] And he scoops up the rat and runs out of the room.
[506.5s] So I'll leave you to craft your sending, your sending message.
[510.9s] However you want to do that.
[512.5s] Which message is sent to Margaret?
[519.0s] Margaret, my name is Lex.
[522.5s] We met in the Misty Forest.
[524.4s] You named me.
[525.6s] Maybe you remember.
[528.4s] I'm going on an adventure to find my creator.
[532.7s] And if you're not busy, it would be great if you could come.
[537.3s] Meet me in Silvery Moon in one week.
[541.3s] XO, Lex.
[543.8s] You crush the stone and your message is sent to Margaret.
[548.7s] Who is where at this moment?
[553.0s] Right now she is outside pulling her mace out of a werewolf.
[559.4s] Margaret's such a badass.
[562.8s] So as you pull the bones crunch, the flesh and blood fly,
[569.3s] this message as if from nowhere enters your mind that you are needed in Silvery Moon.
[576.9s] Oh, hello.
[579.5s] Oh, interesting.
[581.2s] Well, I could go for a little walkabout.
[585.8s] We see Margaret in her Betty White fashion.
[590.2s] Tidy everything up, put away her weapons and head out on the road to Silvery Moon.
[595.8s] We cut through a series of montage-y type things.
[600.1s] We pick it back up with Arvid in his lab.
[602.8s] There's beakers bubbling.
[604.6s] There's fires going.
[606.2s] There's incense burning throughout.
[608.9s] Perseus the rat is in a confinement of sorts
[616.0s] and he's casting a very nondescript spell.
[623.1s] He waves his hands, smoke billows up and out
[627.0s] and before us we see a halfling in the place of Perseus.
[634.0s] Tom, if you could describe your character.
[636.8s] He is a kind of an olive-toned skin color halfling.
[643.8s] He's, you know, a little bit on the tall side for a halfling, but not super-duper.
[649.6s] He has like a long-ass ponytail in the back and a bit of a bald top of his head.
[655.8s] So he's really rocking like that aging hippie look.
[659.0s] We see Arvid standing before Perseus, just clapping his hands to himself as the probably confused
[669.1s] once-was-rat-now-halfling is getting used to his new body, I presume.
[677.4s] At that moment, Lex enters the room.
[681.7s] Hey, um, Arvid, I was just wondering if there was any more of a-
[684.6s] Hey, um, Arvid, I was just wondering if there was any more of a-
[690.5s] I did it!
[691.9s] Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had company.
[694.1s] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is your friend. This is your rat.
[700.8s] This is Perseus.
[702.6s] Perseus!
[703.5s] Lex, it's me, Perseus!
[706.0s] Perseus?
[707.8s] Yeah, it's me!
[709.8s] He made me into a person.
[711.8s] I did it!
[714.6s] Arvid!
[715.6s] Oh, Perseus!
[716.6s] I don't even...
[717.6s] How?
[718.6s] How?
[719.6s] Can you probably can't even explain?
[723.2s] I have no idea.
[725.2s] Magic.
[726.3s] We live in a world of magic and fantasy.
[728.5s] We can do whatever we wish.
[731.0s] He just keeps saying magic over and over, so I guess we have to believe him.
[735.8s] That's all I know about magic, so sounds right to me.
[739.5s] How do you...
[740.5s] How do you feel?
[741.5s] Do you feel...
[742.5s] Okay?
[743.5s] I feel really tall.
[746.1s] You are so much taller than you were before.
[749.8s] I mean, he's still probably like half my height.
[752.8s] Things that looked really big before now look really small, and I'm here for it.
[757.7s] That's...
[758.8s] I'm so happy.
[759.8s] Could I...
[760.8s] Can I hug you?
[761.8s] Is that okay?
[762.8s] I'm so happy to be able to talk to you.
[765.0s] I mean, I've always talked to you, but to have you be able to talk back is really new
[772.0s] and wonderful.
[773.0s] Yeah, I mean, bring it in, big guy.
[777.1s] So I crouch over and give him a big hug.
[780.0s] Oh, it's like bringing family together.
[783.2s] This is just so exciting.
[786.1s] We are like family.
[787.1s] Perseus is my very best friend in the whole world.
[790.7s] Yeah, I mean, we were together a long time in rat years, so I don't know how long it
[795.6s] was in normal years, but it's a long time.
[799.0s] Now, one thing we must discuss here, Perseus, as he hands you clothes to put on...
[803.5s] Oh, thank you, thank you.
[806.8s] ...is I've imbued you with some magics, and we'll discuss that on the road.
[811.6s] Don't worry about it, totally fine.
[814.6s] Might have had to make a pact with a fiend.
[817.4s] On our way!
[819.4s] That's what I mean.
[825.3s] We cut to the three of them on the road at the gates of Silvery Moon as we see the silhouette
[835.8s] of one Margaret Broadcloak standing there waiting, unknown how fast she ran.
[843.2s] It's that aged speed walking.
[844.8s] It is.
[845.8s] It's all those malls she walks around.
[847.7s] She's just got this really good technique, and she just really motors.
[853.1s] But you see Margaret standing ahead of you at the gates of Silvery Moon.
[858.6s] She came, Arvid, she came.
[860.7s] Margaret!
[861.7s] Lexington, how are you?
[865.4s] Well, it's been a busy few weeks.
[869.8s] We made it to Waterdeep.
[871.0s] My friends still haven't found their dragon friend.
[873.6s] I died.
[874.6s] My friend Arvid saved me.
[877.0s] My best friend Arad is now a halfling.
[879.2s] Well, that's me.
[880.2s] He means me.
[881.2s] Oh.
[882.2s] Yes, that's definitely a busy couple of weeks then.
[887.0s] And yourself?
[888.0s] Oh, not bad.
[889.5s] Just roaming around, doing what I can.
[891.7s] I thought I'd head on over here once I got your message.
[894.6s] This is a beautiful city.
[896.0s] I haven't been here for very long, but it's got some very nice eateries if you're
[901.2s] interested.
[902.2s] Yes, I think it's a very high class city.
[905.7s] Is there a lot of good cheese?
[908.3s] You know what?
[909.3s] There is.
[910.3s] That was the first thing I passed by.
[911.3s] Ooh, I'd like me some of that.
[913.8s] We'll stop and get some.
[915.7s] This episode of Dumbgeons and Dragons is brought to you by Hey It's Jolly Entertainment.
[920.1s] You can purchase their new novel The Veiled Monarch on Amazon, Kindle, and coming
[924.4s] soon to audible.com or visit heyitsjolly.com to get your copy today.
[930.6s] Humans always tell me they think it's easier to be non-human.
[933.6s] They don't know what it's like to be one of us.
[936.2s] How difficult it is to keep your head above water.
[941.2s] You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?
[945.0s] Faulkner looked back over his shoulder.
[946.7s] Not a clue.
[948.7s] I believe you have a mole.
[952.4s] Vince flew at Faulkner, grabbing his shirt collar.
[955.0s] Yes, I'm angry.
[956.6s] I love them.
[958.4s] You love them too.
[960.4s] Constance was like a sister to you.
[962.4s] You call Robert your nephew.
[965.1s] Leo and I both struggled against Faulkner and Brian.
[968.1s] Our minds and emotions were in such a state that we didn't know what we were doing.
[972.3s] All we could think of was getting back inside that room and killing Jacob Stewart.
[976.9s] Dad, Brian, please!
[980.4s] Get The Veiled Monarch on Amazon, Kindle, and coming soon to audible.com or visit
[986.5s] heyitsjolly.com to get your copy.
[989.6s] Margaret, I'm so happy you came.
[992.0s] Thank you so much.
[993.8s] It's hard to explain in just this brief note, but I was created in the Baldrick Mountains,
[999.9s] I escaped, and now I want to go find the man that created me.
[1007.4s] For some answers.
[1009.2s] And maybe some vengeance?
[1011.0s] Oh.
[1012.4s] And cheese.
[1013.4s] Well, I can definitely get behind the vengeance idea.
[1016.6s] Wow, so you were created by someone.
[1021.1s] Yes, so I'm usually quite tight-lipped about this, or I have been, because I do have
[1028.8s] a bit of a monstrous appearance and people are quite frightened of me, often.
[1033.3s] But my friend Arvid here, in the last couple weeks, we've been talking a bit
[1037.0s] and he's helped me see that, you know, I can open up to people a little bit more.
[1042.2s] So, the short answer is that I'm an amalgamation of the parts of other human and humanoid creatures,
[1056.2s] and then I somehow got brought back to life as me, but with all of these various
[1064.6s] components.
[1065.6s] Interesting.
[1066.6s] That's why I didn't know what my name was when we met, or I had that long list
[1070.4s] of names.
[1071.8s] Oh, that list was really long.
[1074.5s] Well, before we set out, I do want to say that that's a whole lot of information to
[1081.2s] take in, and I've spent a good chunk of my life hunting down monsters.
[1088.0s] And I know I've only known you for a little while, Lex, but I saw how you defended
[1092.0s] those people in the forest.
[1094.4s] So, when we go out on this adventure, whatever it is that you learn, just
[1099.9s] remember that you are who you've become, not whatever this person made you as.
[1108.4s] I've hunted monsters and you're not one.
[1113.2s] I think Lex is just like frozen.
[1116.1s] This is like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to him.
[1120.4s] Maybe if his tear ducts are attached, maybe a single tear comes down his face.
[1125.1s] I don't know.
[1125.6s] Yes, I made sure to reattach those after.
[1129.6s] Arvid, you're so thoughtful.
[1130.9s] You're so thoughtful.
[1131.7s] Thank you, Margaret.
[1132.6s] That really means a lot to me.
[1134.9s] I was a little afraid of what I was going to discover about myself.
[1139.3s] Yes, it could be a lot, but it doesn't change what you've done since you've left.
[1146.2s] But on the other hand, it doesn't change the things we may do to this person if
[1150.8s] we find them.
[1152.1s] That can be kind of monstrous.
[1154.6s] So to the cheese shop?
[1161.3s] Oh, yes, please.
[1164.5s] We cut through another series of montage scenes.
[1169.4s] Tom, where is the first one that we see on this road towards the Baldrick Mountains?
[1175.1s] We are crossing over a like a single file rope bridge over a river.
[1185.6s] The river is crashing below and you're swaying back and forth.
[1191.4s] There are apes, actual apes, not the weird baboon like apes that you fought
[1198.2s] previously with Margaret, kind of standing, staring at you.
[1201.9s] Some of them throwing small stones out towards you on the bridge, as if taunting
[1207.6s] you and perhaps hoping that you fall into the water and you make it across
[1216.2s] safely.
[1219.9s] Rev, what's the next scene we see?
[1223.0s] The next scene is everyone at a campfire and Perseus holding a
[1229.1s] weapon and Lex and Margaret trying to teach him how to use it.
[1237.2s] So I don't grab the pointy end.
[1241.0s] Yes.
[1241.4s] Does this feel natural to you?
[1242.8s] Does this feel like what you want to handle or?
[1247.2s] I mean, I like the size of it.
[1249.1s] It fits nicely in my hand, so that's good.
[1252.2s] Well, that's a start.
[1253.9s] OK, so I'm going to come and get you out of the way.
[1257.4s] So I'm going to come for you.
[1260.2s] Do you feel ready?
[1264.2s] Is it another hug?
[1266.4s] No, we're going to do we're going to try some of the moves we've been talking
[1269.8s] about.
[1270.3s] OK, the moves.
[1271.0s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1271.8s] OK, I'm ready.
[1272.7s] Here I come and I sort of like parry with a with a small rapier and just
[1278.3s] see if he's how he's handling his weapon.
[1283.5s] So, Lex, you're coming at Perseus.
[1285.6s] Perseus is defending himself.
[1288.0s] Yeah, that's that's sorry.
[1289.4s] That's how the scene is playing out.
[1290.6s] Yes.
[1291.2s] Yeah.
[1292.0s] OK, Lex attack role.
[1294.6s] Perseus.
[1297.0s] It's probably a dexterity check.
[1301.7s] OK.
[1303.0s] I mean, I'm coming in pretty soft because, you know, with with advantage.
[1308.5s] Perseus.
[1310.0s] OK.
[1312.9s] I will go with the first one was much better.
[1315.7s] OK, what do you get 14 for me?
[1318.5s] And I'm doing a straight attack role, straight attack role 22.
[1323.6s] OK, OK, describe to me how you take down or subdue the unawares Perseus.
[1330.8s] Well, I feel like your kill.
[1333.7s] How do you feel like I'm coming in
[1337.8s] with my weapon and I see like I can tell that he is totally not
[1343.7s] ready for this attack.
[1346.4s] The training isn't going as well as I thought, maybe.
[1348.9s] So I try and kind of pull it back, but then kind of trip and then land on him.
[1354.1s] So I don't actually hit him with my weapon so much as my huge body
[1359.1s] just lands on his small one.
[1362.2s] Arvid sees this from across the campfire.
[1364.2s] He's like, I told you that he's not going to be great with weapons.
[1369.4s] That thing I mentioned about the dark magics and the fiend and stuff.
[1373.0s] Yeah, let's let's maybe work on that.
[1374.8s] Just try and think of something to conjure up there, Perseus.
[1380.7s] OK, do you have any suggestions?
[1383.0s] Oh, gosh, I don't know.
[1384.4s] I haven't looked at your spells list.
[1389.4s] It's a little inside baseball there.
[1392.9s] I mean, if it helps, if you want to keep working with that
[1397.0s] that sword, just think of it like a hug.
[1399.6s] But then on the on the last part of the hug, just put the blade in their back.
[1404.0s] That's right. Yes, do that.
[1406.1s] But also maybe.
[1410.5s] Lex, you come at Perseus again,
[1413.2s] but this time, Perseus, instead of trying to touch, stand your ground
[1416.8s] and say, just focus on pushing Lex away.
[1423.1s] OK. OK, ready?
[1425.7s] And then maybe say a word with it, something that's just whatever moves you.
[1430.7s] OK, here it comes, buddy, here I come.
[1437.1s] Oh, that was much gentler.
[1440.4s] It's a 14.
[1444.2s] I say, well, don't hurt me.
[1447.0s] And I throw a beam of crackling energy towards Lex.
[1454.8s] I missed, but I'm sure I missed it was 11, but I threw it anyway.
[1458.8s] Did you do Eldritch Blast? Yeah, yeah, perfect.
[1463.8s] So, I mean, what's your AC there, Tom? Oh, 14.
[1468.6s] Meets and beats.
[1469.4s] So, again, Lex comes in, but this crackling beam of energy
[1473.2s] shoots out and strikes into a tree as Lex dodges around it
[1477.0s] and then subdues you again.
[1479.3s] Well, that was that was closer.
[1481.8s] I was thinking more of like
[1484.4s] I don't know, stunning them, but that's cool, too.
[1487.6s] We'll work on it on the way.
[1489.6s] I thought that was amazing.
[1491.0s] How did you do that?
[1492.8s] Could you do that while you were a rat?
[1495.2s] I don't I don't think so.
[1497.3s] Arvid, was that in me all along?
[1498.8s] I said, yes, it was inside of you.
[1503.1s] Oh, cool. Yeah, it just held within your rat form,
[1507.7s] released by a dark one and never to be talked about
[1511.9s] in this way again for a little while.
[1514.0s] OK, moving on.
[1518.4s] Carla, what's the next scene we see?
[1521.8s] Maybe we are coming through like a very small village, so.
[1530.1s] A provincial sort of town that maybe is a bit unaccustomed
[1534.2s] to our ragtag kind of crew.
[1538.9s] Or maybe not, I don't know their lives.
[1541.8s] You've entered the the tiny village of Hammersforth.
[1548.6s] And you're nearing the end of your journey.
[1552.5s] You're aiming to get in the vicinity of the Baldrick Mountains.
[1557.8s] And you're getting odd looks as you pass through.
[1564.2s] You are, for lack of a better term, a unique adventuring group.
[1570.8s] What with a Frankensteinish monster, a small halfling,
[1576.0s] an old lady and Arvid, who need not describe himself.
[1582.7s] He's just an otherworldly creature.
[1585.4s] Otherworldly creature.
[1586.4s] He's he's glancing at people as he walks by and says,
[1590.2s] is he doing a good job here?
[1594.2s] Never heard of this city before.
[1595.7s] But am I doing good speaking with the regular folk?
[1601.2s] Yes, Margaret, I don't feel like any of the rest of us
[1604.3s] are qualified to answer that question.
[1606.4s] He was a rat and I'm a creation, so.
[1609.3s] What's a regular folk?
[1610.8s] Exactly, exactly, my good friend.
[1613.9s] Let's see if they will give us food and board for saving their village.
[1623.0s] Do we need to do that?
[1624.5s] You said that with a question mark.
[1626.2s] Did we? Are we pretending?
[1628.8s] Are we going to go? Do we have to go do something now?
[1630.9s] No, I've got I've got money.
[1633.1s] Oh, I mean, sure, we could spend money.
[1637.8s] We could go out and adventure.
[1639.2s] I think it might do
[1641.0s] Perseus some good to get a few more blasts off before we get to the mountain.
[1647.0s] You go and Arvid seems he seems OK with this.
[1650.9s] And then you ask around the village and there is a
[1656.1s] they do have a problem off and to the east.
[1659.5s] Somebody roll me a D 100 presentile dice.
[1668.4s] OK. 100.
[1673.8s] Seriously? Yeah.
[1677.8s] So one in two zeros.
[1679.4s] This becomes the adventure today now, because
[1683.7s] I mean, usually what you put at 100 doesn't know.
[1686.8s] That's fine.
[1687.9s] Usually what you put at 100, you'd never expect it to actually come to.
[1691.6s] No, it's this is the this is two crazy rolls.
[1696.3s] Makes no sense.
[1697.8s] Sorry, guys, I'm going to be the Amy Roller tonight after that.
[1700.7s] One good, amazing.
[1702.6s] What creature are we going to defend Hammersmith from or Hammersforth from?
[1709.1s] Used up all my mojo.
[1710.9s] They tell you of a tale of a ghost haunting this town.
[1716.1s] And they say
[1721.6s] that the rumor is that it lives up in the coal mine
[1727.3s] not too far from Hammersforth and frequently comes down and
[1734.3s] well, not only terrifies villagers, but does so much
[1738.6s] so that it it kills them, stops them in their tracks.
[1742.3s] And it does this every third full moon, which happens to be tomorrow.
[1750.5s] I have an idea. OK.
[1753.7s] Because we must be near the Baldrick Mountains
[1756.0s] or probably in the foothills or near the base of the absolutely.
[1760.4s] What if we go and talk to the ghost?
[1767.4s] OK. The one that scares people to death.
[1771.8s] OK, perfect. I have an idea.
[1774.1s] I'd like to. I feel a sort of kinship hearing about this ghost,
[1779.7s] and I want to speak to him, but I understand
[1784.6s] that he does frighten people to death.
[1788.2s] So perhaps I should just go or I don't want to force you to do this.
[1793.1s] But I feel like I might be able to help resolve this.
[1796.5s] I think we should go with you, perhaps if we go today
[1799.9s] before the full moon. I mean, you're right.
[1802.0s] Sometimes monsters, creatures of the night.
[1806.4s] They've got a curse.
[1807.7s] They've got a connection here that they can't get rid of.
[1810.1s] So it may be something that you can figure out and help with,
[1812.9s] as opposed to us trying to destroy it.
[1816.7s] Anywhere you go, Lex, I'm right there with you.
[1819.2s] I mean, you are the reason that we're here.
[1822.2s] So if we let you wander off by yourself to get yourself killed.
[1827.6s] Well, we can just all go home.
[1829.4s] But that would not be very satisfying.
[1832.8s] I'd be super sad, too.
[1834.3s] That too, very sad, because we have become so dear to each other.
[1839.4s] Oh, that reminds me.
[1840.5s] Do you happen to know the name of your creator just in case
[1842.9s] something does happen to you?
[1844.7s] I assume the rest of us would sure love to take vengeance for you.
[1849.3s] I don't. I left in.
[1853.6s] A hurry, let's say, so I know I can make my way back,
[1857.3s] but I wasn't really in my right mind and able to figure out
[1862.7s] who he was.
[1863.4s] I'm hoping I can just find sort of reverse
[1867.5s] the way I left and get back to where where he was.
[1870.7s] No, that's fair.
[1872.8s] The four of you head off to the coal mine, and it's a spooky coal mine.
[1877.5s] There are cobwebs and overgrown.
[1879.6s] It looks like it hasn't been hasn't been utilized in quite some time.
[1885.1s] But you find your way through the overgrown path
[1887.4s] to the mouth of the coal mine and you hear like a soft, breathy
[1895.0s] emanating deep from within.
[1900.0s] Granger, is that you?
[1910.0s] Welcome to the middle.
[1913.2s] Yeah. Yeah.
[1915.7s] And now, Amy, with the breakdown.
[1918.4s] We're here in the middle, and I want you to know that I love you so much.
[1921.6s] Please don't ever go.
[1923.3s] Wiggy wiggy.
[1924.4s] That was really good.
[1926.6s] Off the cuff, I swear to God.
[1927.7s] There have been many times
[1930.6s] we have one of us has attempted to rap in the middle.
[1934.3s] And it's gone very bad.
[1935.4s] And it's rhymed every time.
[1937.7s] It hasn't gone great before.
[1939.9s] And at that time, it rhymed and it was very throwbacky.
[1944.4s] And it was from the heart, which I appreciated.
[1946.5s] It was from the heart.
[1947.6s] It was love motivated.
[1948.5s] I like clean raps.
[1949.8s] That's right. Will Smith.
[1950.9s] It was a Will Smith rap for you.
[1952.7s] I think it was so full of love because you're not in this episode
[1955.4s] so that you have to inject yourself so immensely into this part.
[1960.4s] Yes. Just to make it feel like you were there.
[1962.9s] Was it weird listening without the dulcest tones of my voice in there?
[1969.9s] Everybody's going to say yes.
[1971.2s] But we did have Rev.
[1972.5s] I mean, yes.
[1973.8s] That's true. Rev was back as Margaret.
[1975.4s] Rev is amazing.
[1976.2s] So make sure you go listen to Rev, the Crit Show podcast.
[1980.4s] He's great. They're great.
[1982.6s] Tom and I had a chance to play with more of their crew.
[1984.9s] They're all fantastic.
[1986.5s] Yeah, it was super fun.
[1987.9s] If you go support them on Patreon
[1992.3s] or if you support us on Patreon, you can listen to the West,
[1995.6s] the old West train heist that I got to run for them.
[1999.7s] It was a heck of a good time.
[2002.2s] Speaking of Patreon, we'd love for you to come join us over there
[2004.9s] at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[2007.3s] Why? Because we've got a super cool hangout coming up next week.
[2011.0s] We do. We hang. We're so cool.
[2013.5s] We just hang. Just hang.
[2015.4s] We hang on the first Tuesday of every month.
[2017.7s] We just hang.
[2018.3s] And you know what we've been doing in those hangs,
[2020.1s] which is different from previous hangs where we've been,
[2022.3s] I mean, we still take questions and stuff,
[2024.1s] but we've been playing those Jackbox games.
[2027.0s] We sure have.
[2028.0s] And people are loving it.
[2030.3s] It's very fun. It's been super fun.
[2031.7s] It is. Yeah.
[2032.5s] It's really fun to get to play those kind of games
[2036.5s] with people that we don't know that well
[2038.8s] because some of our patrons have been with us for a while.
[2041.0s] But still, we don't spend a lot of time interacting with them.
[2044.6s] And then we get to hear them be silly
[2047.1s] and make their own jokes and make their own jokes.
[2049.8s] And falsely accuse me of being an alien.
[2052.3s] How dare you?
[2054.6s] Maybe we'll play that alien game.
[2057.1s] It was fun. It was a fun game.
[2059.5s] But that's what we're doing.
[2061.7s] It's a tough time to get together with friends,
[2065.3s] but we want to try and help facilitate some of that.
[2068.4s] And you can come join us and be part of the community
[2070.7s] and play some games and have an hour of just laughs
[2076.4s] and good times and rust make terrible, terrible jokes.
[2081.8s] Yeah, we all learned we're not good comedians,
[2084.6s] which is- When put on the spot.
[2086.3s] When we can kind of think it over a little bit, we're okay.
[2089.2s] Yeah.
[2090.1s] In the pretend you're a stand-up comedian genre?
[2095.7s] Yeah. Not great.
[2096.7s] Not good.
[2097.7s] I have not yet played this game.
[2099.3s] I've got a friend who is an actual stand-up comedian.
[2101.8s] I'm going to go get some hot tips from him
[2103.8s] before the next game.
[2104.9s] Oh, there we go. Oh, do it.
[2105.8s] I'm going to call him.
[2106.6s] We're on your tight five.
[2107.7s] I'm going to say, when you're doing real stand-up comedy,
[2111.4s] they are not like, here's the start of your joke.
[2114.7s] Finish it.
[2116.3s] Finish it with something funny.
[2117.6s] Finish it and make it good in 30 seconds or less.
[2121.2s] Exactly. It's a lot of pressure.
[2122.2s] Then you've got to hop on the phone
[2123.3s] and we've got to play this game
[2124.4s] until we've run through all of the questions that they have.
[2126.6s] So I know I've got some good zingers.
[2128.8s] Yep. But come join us.
[2130.8s] That's what we're trying to get at Patreon.com
[2132.4s] slash dumb dragon cast.
[2133.3s] We'd love to see you there to play some games,
[2135.4s] to have just a moment, to just take a breath
[2137.6s] and have some fun.
[2139.5s] So we hope that you're able to do that.
[2141.4s] And if you're not, of course, that's totally okay.
[2143.8s] Totally okay.
[2144.6s] We love you anyway.
[2145.7s] We love having you along for the ride.
[2147.1s] My rap was still for you, patron or not.
[2149.9s] Of course.
[2150.7s] Link is down in the description for Patreon
[2152.9s] and for Discord.
[2154.2s] If you can't join us on Patreon,
[2156.2s] please do join us on Discord
[2157.3s] because we also have a great community there
[2158.8s] that is open to the public.
[2160.9s] So we'd love to see you in all the places.
[2162.9s] But now let's get back to that episode
[2165.5s] where Lex and Margaret and Perseus
[2169.3s] are out doing stuff with Arvid.
[2172.0s] It's the dream team.
[2173.3s] Okay, bye.
[2174.4s] Bye. Bye.
[2181.0s] Granger, is that you?
[2184.1s] It goes a second.
[2187.7s] And you hear another breathy,
[2190.9s] yes.
[2195.0s] Granger, you don't know me, but perhaps you do.
[2201.1s] Come here, look at me.
[2204.3s] You feel a heavy wind kind of pushing.
[2211.7s] You hear it first and then it's pushing
[2213.8s] and dust is coming out.
[2216.0s] And you see an incorporeal luminous form
[2223.5s] coming out from the coal mine
[2225.3s] and it rushes out and faces you.
[2229.0s] And you see just a terrifying visage before you.
[2236.6s] Everybody within 60 feet,
[2238.8s] which is all of you, I do believe,
[2242.0s] make a wisdom saving throw, please.
[2245.2s] DC 13.
[2246.1s] This plan's gonna go horribly awry
[2248.6s] if I just get scared to death
[2251.5s] and pee in my pants in front of him.
[2253.6s] Okay.
[2256.5s] Perseus is very much afraid.
[2260.3s] 18.
[2261.1s] 18, 17, and what did Perseus get?
[2265.0s] 12.
[2266.0s] Okay, you didn't fail by that much, so you're okay.
[2268.6s] I actually rolled a 13,
[2269.6s] but I got a sweet minus one to that whiz, so.
[2272.4s] Wah, wah.
[2273.6s] Okay, Perseus, you are frightened for one minute,
[2276.5s] but you did not fail by five or more,
[2278.7s] so we don't have to deal with that.
[2280.5s] Perfect.
[2281.4s] Perseus, you're the only one who is afraid,
[2283.6s] so you have to use any movement
[2285.3s] to get away from this ghost
[2289.2s] that you now see in front of you,
[2290.9s] and it's right in front of you, Lex,
[2292.4s] because you were the one talking to it
[2294.0s] and it's kind of looking back and forth to everyone
[2296.5s] and it says, who are you?
[2301.8s] Granger, this will sound strange,
[2304.5s] but part of me is you.
[2311.4s] And I start to unbutton my shirt.
[2317.6s] You hear from behind you, Arvid.
[2319.4s] Oh my.
[2323.4s] So I take my shirt off
[2326.6s] and I am like this huge, broad-shouldered,
[2329.4s] like strapping upper body.
[2335.6s] Like a very strong man who spent maybe a decade or more
[2341.7s] carrying very heavy things in a coal mine.
[2345.9s] And you notice a small tattoo on my left shoulder
[2352.2s] and I say, Granger, it's not my fault,
[2356.8s] but maybe you can't rest
[2359.3s] because part of you isn't at rest.
[2363.0s] Part of you is with me.
[2366.6s] And I turn to show him the tattoo,
[2368.6s] because if it's him, then he'll know it's Bod.
[2373.6s] He disperses into a cloud around you
[2377.4s] and begins surrounding you and comes up
[2379.8s] and is almost looking over your shoulder at this tattoo
[2383.4s] and everybody else sees this as well.
[2386.6s] Perseus, I believe you've run off
[2388.3s] into the trees by this point.
[2389.8s] Yeah, I know, long time.
[2391.2s] You definitely don't see this for at least a minute.
[2394.8s] And he, the ghost, kind of falls back down
[2400.2s] and away from you and pauses for a moment
[2406.7s] and then says, thank you.
[2414.6s] And you see him kind of wisp and willow away
[2419.7s] and there is a bit of luminescence
[2421.9s] that follows out and it's dispersed along the ground
[2429.6s] and then all at once, everything lifts up
[2433.1s] and into a singular form and then explodes
[2436.0s] in a giant light and then is sucked back in on itself.
[2443.7s] I should say, I look pretty horrific.
[2446.4s] So, because I'm all like sewn together
[2450.0s] in like bits and pieces in Frankenstein-y,
[2453.3s] so I don't know how Margaret reacts to that.
[2456.6s] Perseus would know that's what I look like.
[2458.6s] I'm not sure how did, I guess Arvid probably knows as well
[2461.6s] because he was nursing me for weeks.
[2469.0s] Yeah, I think there's a moment when the shirt comes off
[2471.9s] and actually seeing all the connecting lines
[2475.9s] and where all the pieces intersect.
[2480.1s] That there's hesitation but it's not different enough
[2484.4s] from some of the other things that she has encountered
[2487.9s] that it really hits her in a bad way.
[2490.6s] I think more so it's seeing it in that ghostly form
[2494.8s] and also seeing it on you
[2496.7s] is the thing that takes her more, I think.
[2502.3s] The four of you, well the three of you
[2505.0s] go find Perseus and then head back
[2508.2s] towards Hammersforth and we see a scene of disbelief
[2515.7s] followed by rejoice after the next day
[2519.9s] the ghostly figure does not come to the village
[2524.5s] and cheers echo through the valley
[2527.6s] that surrounds this town.
[2531.6s] And then we cut to another city.
[2535.1s] The sign of the city says Glickfast
[2541.8s] and this is at the base of the Baldrick Mountains.
[2544.4s] You have seen it walking up to this town.
[2548.6s] Lex, as you enter, you begin to get a feeling
[2554.2s] that you remember being here.
[2558.9s] More than just the flashing memories
[2562.1s] that you've had of the pieces of you,
[2567.3s] the people that make you.
[2570.6s] But you, as in your current form, have been in this town.
[2579.6s] My friends, we are so close.
[2584.4s] I was here.
[2586.0s] I came through this place
[2588.3s] when I departed where I was created.
[2592.2s] So, I don't know, I mean, it's possible
[2598.0s] we could see my creator here
[2601.0s] or at least he was very near to here.
[2605.6s] And you hear a voice, Lex.
[2607.8s] I mean, all of you hear it, the other three of you,
[2612.7s] it kind of just blends in with the crowd.
[2614.3s] But Lex, it stands out to you as a voice
[2618.6s] that cuts through and anchors you in this place.
[2624.9s] It's a higher pitched tone.
[2627.9s] You look over and you see a familiar face
[2631.4s] and you are reminded of a kobold
[2637.2s] whose name is Marvin Dundalfoot.
[2641.0s] He's passing between people
[2644.6s] in this village of Glickfast saying,
[2647.3s] hey, hey, I could get you a sweet deal.
[2649.9s] Just look at this watch here.
[2651.2s] I can get you any number of these things.
[2653.9s] And as you kind of focus on him,
[2657.1s] he has a feeling that somebody is watching him.
[2660.3s] He looks over and he sees you
[2661.8s] and then you see a look of panic in his eyes.
[2665.0s] And he says,
[2667.9s] I will, I'll say that later.
[2671.2s] And he bolts down the street.
[2673.8s] We've got to follow that kobold and I chase him.
[2678.4s] Yeah, follow.
[2680.3s] Everybody runs off chasing down the kobold
[2683.6s] as we sweep up on the panoramic view of Glickfast
[2687.5s] at the base of the Baldrick Mountains.
[2689.6s] The music and sound effects from today's episode
[2691.7s] can be found at epidemicsound.com.
[2694.3s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2696.7s] Christian Brown, Creighton's Raven, Devin Michaels,
[2700.3s] Gabriel Lynch, Jacob Madden, Joshua Dixon,
[2703.8s] Cat Waterflame, and Stevie.
[2706.4s] Find out more about becoming a patron
[2708.1s] at www.epidemicsound.com.
[2710.5s] And if you'd like to see more of our music
[2713.3s] and sound effects from today's episode,
[2715.3s] head over to www.epidemicsound.com.
[2718.7s] You can find out more about becoming a patron
[2719.6s] by visiting us at www.Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast,
[2722.6s] where you can have access to exclusive bonus episodes,
[2725.2s] including a Patreon exclusive podcast,
[2727.9s] early access to our sister podcast, Facing Fate,
[2731.0s] contributing in-game NPCs and magic items,
[2734.6s] as well as joining us for live stream hangouts
[2736.7s] throughout the month.
[2738.2s] www.Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[2741.1s] Hope to see you over there.
[2742.5s] Have a great week, be safe, and we'll talk soon.
[2746.0s] Um, so message?
[2747.9s] Ready for it?
[2750.2s] I'm unprepared, so here it comes.
[2755.0s] It's the best way to leave a very important,
[2756.8s] send a very important message.
[2758.2s] We can take it a couple times if you need to,
[2759.9s] but you do you.
[2761.4s] Is this thing on?
[2762.8s] How does it work?
[2764.0s] And that's the whole message.
[2764.8s] Tap, tap, tap.
[2765.6s] End of message.
[2766.9s] Margaret?
[2767.7s] Are we live?
[2768.5s] Margaret.
[2769.7s] Can you hear me?
[2770.8s] Margaret.
[2772.1s] And I start to.
[2776.6s] Which part?
[2777.4s] Wait, you're gonna tell us.
[2779.9s] I'm gonna get there.
[2783.4s] It's gonna get bad before it gets better.
[2785.2s] I realize now when you just said which part.
[2788.3s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.